Advice
The Manager's Self-Care Paradox: Why Looking After Everyone Else is Slowly Killing You
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Here's something that'll probably ruffle some feathers: most managers are absolutely terrible at self-care, and frankly, it's becoming a bloody epidemic in Australian workplaces.
I've been consulting with businesses across Melbourne and Sydney for the past 17 years, and the pattern is always the same. Managers burning themselves out whilst preaching work-life balance to their teams. It's like watching someone drown whilst they're teaching swimming lessons.
The irony is thick enough to cut with a knife. We've got middle managers working 60-hour weeks, skipping lunch breaks, and answering emails at their kid's footy matches – all whilst implementing wellness programmes for their staff. Something's not adding up here, and it's time we had an honest conversation about it.
The Great Australian Manager Burnout
Let me paint you a picture. It's 7:30 PM on a Wednesday. You're still at the office because Jenny from accounts had a meltdown about the new software system, and David from sales needs "urgent" approval for a client dinner that could've waited until tomorrow. Meanwhile, your partner's texted three times asking when you'll be home, and your dinner's getting cold.
Sound familiar?
The statistics are sobering. Around 67% of Australian managers report feeling overwhelmed at work most days. That's not just a workplace problem – that's a public health crisis waiting to happen.
I remember working with a retail manager in Brisbane a few years back. Let's call him Steve. Steve was the poster child for manager martyrdom. First in, last out, never took sick days, answered emails during his annual leave. His team loved him because he protected them from upper management pressure. But Steve? Steve was slowly disintegrating.
Three months into our engagement, Steve had what his doctor called "an anxiety episode" during a team meeting. Couldn't breathe, thought he was having a heart attack. Turned out his body was just telling him what his mind refused to acknowledge: he was running on empty.
Why Traditional Self-Care Advice Falls Flat
Now, before we go any further, let's bin the usual self-care nonsense. I'm not about to tell you to take more bubble baths or practice mindfulness meditation (although if that works for you, brilliant).
The problem with most self-care advice is that it's designed for people who have control over their time. Managers don't have that luxury. You can't exactly tell your CEO that you're unavailable for the next hour because you're doing yoga when the quarterly results are due.
What managers need is tactical self-care. Stuff that works in the real world, not in some wellness retreat fantasy land.
The Four Pillars of Manager Self-Care That Actually Work
1. Boundary Setting (The Nuclear Option)
This is where most managers completely stuff things up. They think being available 24/7 makes them indispensable. Wrong. It makes them a doormat.
I learned this lesson the hard way back in 2019 when I was managing a team of 15 consultants. I thought being the "always on" manager was what good leadership looked like. Reality check: it just created a team of people who couldn't make decisions without me.
Set clear boundaries and stick to them like your life depends on it. Because it does. No emails after 7 PM unless the building's on fire. No weekend calls unless there's an actual emergency (and no, Karen's password reset doesn't count).
The pushback will be immediate. People will test these boundaries faster than a toddler tests new rules. Hold firm.
2. Delegation Without Guilt
Here's an unpopular opinion: if you're doing work that someone else on your team could handle, you're not being a hero – you're being inefficient.
Delegation isn't about dumping work on others. It's about developing your team whilst preserving your sanity. But here's the kicker – most managers are control freaks who think nobody else can do the job properly.
I get it. I really do. When I first started managing difficult conversations, I wanted to handle everything myself. Big mistake. Huge.
The secret is progressive delegation. Start with low-stakes tasks and gradually increase responsibility. Yes, it takes time initially. Yes, there'll be mistakes. But the alternative is burning out whilst your team stagnates.
3. The 15-Minute Rule
This one's simple but effective. Every day, no matter how chaotic things get, you take 15 minutes for yourself. Not for planning, not for catching up on emails, not for anything work-related.
Fifteen minutes. That's less time than most people spend scrolling through social media on the toilet.
Use it however you want. Walk around the block. Call your mum. Sit in your car and listen to music. Read a chapter of a book. The activity doesn't matter – the boundary does.
Some days you'll feel guilty about it. Good. That guilt is your workaholic programming talking. Ignore it.
4. Energy Management Over Time Management
Time management is dead. We've all got the same 24 hours, and trying to squeeze more productivity out of them is like trying to get blood from a stone.
Energy management is where the magic happens. Work with your natural rhythms instead of against them.
Are you a morning person? Block out your first two hours for deep work and let someone else handle the 8 AM drama. Night owl? Save your strategic thinking for after lunch when everyone else is in a post-sandwich coma.
I've noticed that most managers do their most draining tasks when they're already running on fumes. It's like trying to lift weights with your non-dominant hand whilst standing on one leg. Possible, but unnecessarily difficult.
The Ripple Effect Nobody Talks About
Here's something that might surprise you: when managers start practicing proper self-care, team performance actually improves. Counterintuitive, right?
When you're not running around like a headless chook, you make better decisions. When you're not constantly stressed, you're more approachable. When you model healthy boundaries, your team feels permission to do the same.
I've seen this pattern repeat dozens of times across different industries. The manager starts looking after themselves, and suddenly the whole team dynamic shifts. People start taking initiative. Problems get solved without escalation. Productivity goes up, not down.
The Resistance You'll Face
Let's be honest about what's going to happen when you start implementing these changes. There will be resistance. From your boss, from your team, from that little voice in your head that says you're being selfish.
Your boss might make comments about "commitment" and "leadership." Some team members will test your new boundaries. You'll second-guess yourself constantly, especially in the first few weeks.
Push through it. The alternative is continuing down a path that leads to burnout, resentment, and potentially serious health issues.
And here's a radical thought: if your workplace culture can't accommodate basic self-care practices, maybe it's time to find a workplace culture that can.
The Reality Check
I'm not going to pretend this is easy. Changing ingrained habits never is, especially when those habits are tied up with your professional identity and sense of worth.
But here's the thing – you can't pour from an empty cup. You can't lead effectively when you're running on stress hormones and caffeine. You can't make good decisions when you're exhausted.
Self-care isn't selfish. It's strategic.
Start small. Pick one boundary and enforce it religiously for a month. Delegate one recurring task that's been eating up your time. Take those 15 minutes every day, even if it feels ridiculous at first.
Your future self will thank you. Your team will thank you. And your family definitely will.
The Australian business landscape is tough enough without managers sacrificing their wellbeing on the altar of productivity. It's time we started treating self-care like the business imperative it actually is.
Because at the end of the day, a burned-out manager isn't just bad for the manager – it's bad for business.